#but he loves being picked up and held
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c!bad’s true form
He actually prefers being tiny (and by tiny I mean 9’6”), but sometimes he likes to show off his actual height
#dream team fans dni#wilbur fans dni#c!skeppy loves him in all forms#he pretends to be mad that Bad’s taller than him#but he loves being picked up and held#just like me fr I need a giant demon to pick me up and hold me too#badboyhalo#dsmp badboyhalo#dsmp bbh#bbh#c!badboyhalo#badboyhalo fanart#bbh fanart#skeppy#dsmp skeppy#c!skeppy#skeppy fanart#c!skephalo#dsmp skephalo#skephalo#lynx posting
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I haven't watched this show a day in my life
#I have a vision for this show#Tommy invites Eddie with him to help him pick out a promise ring for Buck but Eddie acts super posturing a weird the entire time and Tommy#is eventually like “you wtf is up with you? I didn't know you had such string opinions on gold verse silver” and Eddie breaks and is like#“a promise ring?? I didn't know it was that serious between you two?”#“I held a funeral for a mummy for him of course its that serious. Why is that an issue are you in love with him or something?”#“Yeah actually”#“what”#and then the entire next episode is Tommy and Eddie doing elaborate wooing stunts to buck to try and win him over from the other#Buck is completely oblivious to eddies wooing because hes acting exactly the same#but now Buck is going around to the rest of the station like “Tommy is acting really weird” because Tommy doesnt do this kind of thing#but the station freaks because they think tommy is being an asshole agaib#also tommys actor is replaced with bobbys actor in a bad wig#to represent bucks daddy issues#911 abc#911 show#buddie#evan buckley#eddie diaz#destiel#destiel day
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y'all do Gin, Higuchi, Hirotsu, Tachihara, Chuuya, Dazai, and Mori so dirty with the way you talk about who cares about Akutagawa and who doesn't.
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd akutagawa#his life is not the sum of his being used#the port mafia bends to him and accommodates him and provides him the space to figure out what he wants separate from his rage#while protecting him from himself#mori canonically and proudly knows his people well#y'all see his blind spots and project them over his entirety#but there's a reason why ryu-chan is surrounded by people capable of solo raids#to pick him up from where he's being held hostage by other smugglers with whom he picks fights#atsushi is SO important to akutagawa#atsushi is mikan#but akutagawa is so loved and that's part of why he's able to grow to meet atsushi where atsushi is at#because atsushi is also in a place right now where he is loved
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the scene where carmy, stressed and at his worst, holds out his cut hand and says "blood! see! good! good! are you all happy now!" to the beef when no one is listening to him or letting him have his way is just. so...so donna. he is his mother's son unfortunately
#the bear#thinking a lot abt everything that's wrong with him i wanna make a list.#also on that note it's actually to me a sign of great love and sacrifice that richie had held back that comment for so long#i'm not being pithy i'm actually like. a lot of carmy's worst traits are also donna's#and i think richie who is very keen on things actually def picks up on that#and the only reason he doesn't bring it up sooner is probably the knowledge that it would wreck him#and he only brings it up in s2 from a place of desperation--nothing else is working#fixing the beef didn't also fix carmen#it's the reality check he probably never felt secure enough to give mikey#bc on THAT note i think richie's failure with mikey is his own insecurity; his fear of being kicked out or not belonging#he doesn't want to disagree with mikey and risk that closeness#and ultimately that anxiety hurts them both
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#there's no way i could ever have another pet bc this has destroyed me in unimaginable ways#despite him being old and his health declining the past three or so years#we did everything we could to keep him around and healthy but his little body just couldn't do it anymore#i love him so much i hope he wasn't in pain#i regret not saying goodbye when my mom told me to before he went to the hospital friday but i was in denial#we held out all weekend to see if the treatment would work but he was just so weak my dad gave them the go-ahead to stop it today#idk if they've put him to sleep yet but we're assuming so since my dad is gonna go pick up his collar tomorrow#i cried so much last night because i just had a feeling today would be it#and then i woke up this morning and already had tears in my eyes#this is gonna be. another long grieving process and i'm already so tired from losing my sister last year#when does it fucking end lol like when do i get to the other side#i'm just exhausted. I'm mentally and emotionally exhausted#he's such a big extension of me like who tf am i without my dog i'm nothing he's all i had
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My kingdom for a "So you say” (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#Helix#ZEX#Dexter Favin#Hhhh they ;; Their ''first'' interaction!#Officially up to three cryings - not that I'm surprised I love Dex <3#My head was fully abuzz during this scene there are so so so many interesting details!#So interesting to see which ''held true'' and which were left behind - which ones became Helix while others didn't!#At this point I almost see Helix as an alternate timeline - kind of like how Defeated is a branching arm off the main body#Not terribly dissimilar but the details that are different are too interesting to let go of so just make it all canon in its own way! Hehe#Especially since Helix is largely from Max's 3rd person perspective so the way he tells it is different than Dexter haha#Very interesting what he leaves out in his retelling hehehehe ♪♫#Anyhow enough of Max he's not even here rn sheesh ♪ ZEX! And Dexter ;;#Hghhghh it's all set up so deviously <3 That fact that up to this point ZEX has been relying on Zelnick especially to give him credence#And then as soon as someone he ''knows he trusts'' comes to throw a wrench into things - Dexter has as much weight or more!#He's specifically engineered to sow doubt and confusion! Gosh what a place to grow his character from <3 <3#ZEX's pride undoes him completely it's So well written ♥ Truly a fatal flaw for VUX and the way he's picked apart aghh <3#And?? The fact that I can hear ''Max's'' voice in ZEX's syntax as soon as he doesn't have a good argument??? Hello????#I know they come from the same base but like!! How!!! Masterful 💖#As I drew it it's a bit out of order - Dexter says he can't protect Max (😭) before ZEX starts crying it all got a bit mixed in my head#I was very emotional at the time you understand haha#It's all so sad! They're so close in some ways to being or having what the other wants but both fall just short#No wonder they took what little comfort in each other they could <3 ZEX comforted by his voice and Dex comforted by caring for his body#They have so little to offer each other trapped as they are ;;#It's all so interesting and distressing!! There's so much to think about as everything falls into place!
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hi nina! do you have any other songs that you think cd would cover? i just really liked new perspective and i think ur music taste is rlly cool :3
d'awww!!! hi there, sweet pea! <3
tysm for your ask but, before you start reading ( because this message got VERY long ), i just want to let everyone know that i used this ask to explain some Very Complex Ravenstan/Callgirl Fake Dating Lore...so if you are interested in that, it starts towards the middle of this ask...it's a lil chaotic, but i tried to make it as interesting and clear as i could! no obligation to read, ofc, as always, but i did want to preface this ask with that info, so you know this one is
*Secretly An Important RM Lore Ask.*
but back to what i was doing ( screaming ):
— because aAAAAAAAAAA!!!! c': <333
i am not even joking, you guys, despite the fact that my fic is based almost entirely around Music, i avoided answering music-related asks for so LONG bc i was legitimately so nervous about it being negatively perceived or read for filth on here, which, i Know, is silly because it's my fanfic and what i say goes, i can't change my music taste anymore than i can change the way my dna loops, but...idk.
like, i feel like A Lot of people are self conscious abt their music taste, but my social anxiety/inferiority complex can get so gnarly that i actually get Nervous when people ask me about what kind of music i like and i never EVER sit shot gun in cars bc i am...scared to aux. :/
iiiiiit's...That Bad. ( nina, please get therapy. )
i also feel like people in this fandom can get Very Intense about what kind of music they associate with the boys/what music the boys listen to and are FRIGHTENINGLY QUICK to rip people to shreds over opinions that don't align with theirs or aren't obscure or 'cool' enough.
bc of that, i try to be Very Lowkey on this blog because the larger part of this fandom and the criminally insane level at which they escalate petty fights over canon/fanon, like to the point that they are frothing at the mouth and start doxing people...gives me Extreme Stress. which, in my line of work, i actually CANNOT have happen.
tldr; i want absolutely NO part of it and like my lil corner.
thank you for keeping it Safe. <3
AND THANK YOU FOR ENJOYING MY MUSIC TASTE!!! EEEE c: <3 THAT IS SO REASURRING AND HEALING FOR ME TO HEAR!!!! MUSIC TO MY EARS, BABY! LITERALLY! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THAAAANK YOU! *holds you* *squishes you* *kisses ur head*
istg, if nothing else the fact that i have a bunch of you rocking out to New Perspective and positively associating it with my fanfic means that i have done my job and that's a legacy i'm willing to die with.
i'm being so serious, i feel like if rm was a tv show, it would play as the outro to every episode...but like a nice, soft, raw version w/ ravenstan on acoustic guitar to contrast the hard ass cd cover of style by tswizz that i think would open every episode...smh, nina, please, pleease stop imagining your unfinished, crack-fanfic as a netflix og series. >.>
BUT!!! okay!!!! in vein of trying not to worry about the perception of my music taste or what other people want from me...tHIS IS A KIND OF CONTREVERSIAL TAKE BUT I TIED IT TO THE PLOT, OKAY?
so, as a little nina lore and for context, when i was in elementary school around like 4th/5th grade, i was listening to like a lot of early y2k bangers, ig. dirty little secret by all american rejects, hey there delilah by the plain white tees, girlfriend by avril lavigne core, etc.
( just to make you giggle, i also had a ps2 and there was a series of video games called singstar that were some off shoot of rockband/gh that had mics you plugged directly into the system...pls note my high score on sk8r boi really should be put in the guinness world records, like if you held a gun to my head and told me to sing that song, i not only would i fuck it up but i would LIVE, baby! better luck next time! )
...it was also around early disney channel times ( the disney channel games with the team colors...that was my OLYMPICS, bitch! ) and i had this Disney Pop Hits Vol...1? i think? cd i used to play on the prehistoric radio thing in my room and my favorite song on it was...
pop princess by the click five.
AND I KNOW!!! I KNOOOOOW!!!! controversial take, but i am sorry, THAT SONG FUCKS!!!! THAT SONG IS SOOOO AWESOME!!!!!
and i feel like when ravenstan was fake dating call girl during the great hate south park embark, cd covered it: i am picturing a less finger-bang, btr, disney channel esqe sound and more of a pop-punk, pedal to the metal, electric guitar type, edgy rockstar boy typa beat.
but Yes, i think ravenstan covered it or idk i really think that it was made FOR call girl. and it was BAD ASF. i also think bc tcf wrote that song about hannah montana ( iconic ), and bc call girl is basically the whole internet's e-girl bubblegum pop princess in my fanfic, it just...
makes...Sense.
am i making sense? do we see the vision? aka rs in his lil pants w/ the ripped red and black flannel tied around his waist, fallin to his knees, singing his heart out, pointing at her, winking? PPL DIIIIIIIIIED.
and by people, i do mean jerseykyle n bebe who were MAD AS HELL,
-- but also tapping their toe...smh.
it was both very cool and very annoying. RIP.
( ...do i have jersey and bebe make out during the pop princess call girl tribute as mlm/wlw solidarity? HEEEELP ICOOONIC *jk vibrating with stress and anger vc* barbara, i need you to do somethin for me don't ask questions, i'll explain later, It's Important sdks MESSY! )
BUT OKAY!!!! SPEAAAAKING OF THEM AND THAT AND CALLGIRL AND RAVEN OF CRIMSON DAWN DATING!!!! i wanted to give you some lore and some spoilery plot about that/them bc it is burning a Hole in my brain...i must discuss r.s. and call girl becaaaause
~Its....Complicated.~
ANYWAYS!!!! IMPORTANT PLOT TIME!!!!
so, for more context: i am currently working on another ask abt how ike found out that jerseykyle/ravenstan used to be dating and during that conversation in kyle's room about three days into the sp trip, CONCURRENTLY somewhere Else, ravenstan and call girl are getting ready to do some flashy PR thing like go on a date/get din, idk.
BUT RIGHT BEFORE IT: ravenstan and call girl are alone together, and ravenstan, who, i am not even kidding you, is sooo fucking Pissed that this is EVEN HAPPENING because kyle is super mad at him, was like you are Actually Dead to me, WILL NOT TALK TO HIM...
( which without spoiling too much -- is actually why ike can tell that somethin Fucked Up is happening because j.k. is super aggressive and loud and is not afraid to Fuck Your Shit Up...but has not laid a FINGER on raven of crimson dawn...and actually, seems to not even want to be Near him, barely acknowledges his existence, leaves rooms that he is in and is Radio Silent around him...WHICH IS TWICE AS SCARY AS J.K. YELLING AND TRYING TO KILL YOU. so, uhh, Not fucking...Good, you guys. ike was like...this is...not fucking normal. )
but again, he cannot tell kyle what is going on bc he might actuuuuallly get MURDERED??? uh???
anyways, in whatever secure, secluded space rae/cg are in ( its somewhere private, i pictured a dressing room of sorts, like a makeup trailer, somewhere they have to take pics ) stan is Extremely Straight Up with her and says something to the effect of:
"i have no idea what you think this is or what you want this to be or what they told you, but we are not dating and this...is NOT. Real."
and call girl ( aka wendy whose identity is a secret to EVERYONE, No One has seen the bottom half of call girl's face...Ever. she changes her wigs everyday, they are Very Elaborate and is always in a very high tech face mask that covers her face from the nose down and uses a voice modulator to mask her speaking voice...a mysterious queen ) oddly enough seems completely relieved by this statement and is like
*squints*
"don't worry, Emo Boy. feeling is mutual. like, no offense, but you are seriously...not my type. Ew. trust me, i don’t want to do this either but,
— I Have To."
wHICHSHDLSKDHLSD SHE GUTTED HIM HELP. he was *gigantic stan slow eye blinks in shock* like "right, okay, Ow. that was...Mean." kshdlksdls but then was "--but i am glad we...agree. i Also HAVE To. not because of publicity, it's...Deeper than that...i can't really ta--"
to which call girl, locking eyes with him, dead seriously, lowering her modulated voice is like...
"it's tenorman, right?
He Threatened You."
and r.s, gagged! Again!!! is like
"holy shit, he THREATENED /YOU/ TOO?!?!"
and call girl nods very slowly and starts to say
"he told me if i didn't do it he would..."
and rs with the same kind of mounting horror whispers
" — Kill Everyone You Love And Care About?"
which, at this point, folks, they are both like...
...WOAH.
bc they realize they are both stuck in the same torture chamber together, they Both got cornered into this really elaborate ruse and have to keep it up in order to keep the people that they love Safe and it's...A Lot. it...really is. but it's also sort of freeing and cathartic to knowing you are not alone going through what is pretty much the worst thing that has ever happened to you in your entire life.
i also feel like...there is this natural bond. this Energy between them. like they understand/see each other and feel...safe with one another.
and call girl, guard still up, dips a toe in uncharted water, and goes:
"well...since were partners in crime now and have to live a lie in public...i think we at least owe it to each other in private...
...to be Real."
she offers this bc they have reached an understanding, an impasse, a standstill, a draw of sorts. and there is a thick tension...as well as this crescendoing vulnerability that hangs the air with her ultimatum as they stare warily at each other, strangers, both wearing still wearing their masks, call girl physically in hers and stan in his metaphorical one doing the dark, raspy smoke and mirrors raven voice bc he is...not sure about her in the same way that she is...
...still not sure abt him.
( they are basically that one spiderman meme where both the spidermans are holding each other at gun point. ) and it's a huge Risk to indulge her request, but again...they both have everything to lose.
and no one...but Eachother.
so he indulges her very tentatively and counters:
"alright...then, tell me something Real, call girl."
to which she nods, closes her eyes and goes. "fine. my real name..."
call girl trails off, reaches up to tap the voice modulator on her mask, turns it off, reaches out her rhine-stoned, sequined, hot pink faux leather gloved hand out to shake his and in her real voice, says,
" — Is Wendy."
and this...is a Very BIG Deal.
again, no one has ever heard call girl's voice before. no one knows what her name is or Anything about her. she doesn't even preform live, she does virtual concerts and is basically this sort of mysterious, ai, vocaloid/miku internet personality that is very Carefully and elaborately Coded and ENCRYPTED to keep her identity Safe.
so her turning off her voice mod and speaking to stan, not as a fictional, larger than life computer-generated celebrity, but as a human being...is massive.
it's also very...Comforting to ravenstan.
who has not been himself...for a very long time. and it's not smart, it's not a good idea, but he decides to trust her and in turn,
in his real voice, says,
"stan. my name...is Stan.
It's Nice To Meet You, Wendy."
he shakes her hand and she shakes his.
she says, "it's nice to meet you too, stan." :)
and it feels...Nice. it should feel wrong, what they're doing, but it feels right, it feels fucking amazing to stop Preforming. she knows his name, she's seen his face...but realizes he still has not seen Hers and running on adrenaline, bolstered by a rare surge of bravery, chinks at her armor, or mask rather, and makes a motion.
literally.
bc he reaches up towards her face and goes, "oof. it's nice to hear your human voice; the dystopian robot voice was lowkey espantoso."
he laughs, it's genuine and super ugly, god bless him. so you Know he's being really real when he asks "but...if it's all the same to you. if were going to speak freely; i'd like to...see Who i am speaking to.
so can i, please, uh...see your Face? your whole face.
your...Real face."
and oof. this...is a little nerve-wracking for wendalends.
she's neeeever taken the mask off. ever. Ever. EVER.
For A-n-y-o-n-e.
but...she might never have the chance again and it is...really stuffy under there. so she Agrees and lets stan remove her face apparatus.
ravenstan does say "Wowza." HDLKSHDSl amazing.
he's also my boyfail king and says something very fucking stupid like
"sorry, you're REALLY Pretty. i was worried might look like deadpool under there." she smiles, it's beautiful. no one has seen her real smile before as call girl and thanks him. she goes on to apologize and is like
"thank you, stan. you're really sweet and i...am sorry i said 'ew'. it's not because you're ugly, you're kind of...Cute for a guy, actually? you have really nice bone structure and very kind eyes. it's just, when i said you weren't my type i meant Boys. in...general."
her voice shakes a little, she's never admitted this out loud before, not even to her girlfriend. but she trusts stan with the nice bone structure and dumb ugly laugh and very kind eyes, so she says
"i'm a...Lesbian.
i'm also Seeing Someone at the moment.
It's Complicated."
and stan is like, skhdlsd way too excited to talk about kyle, and is like
"okay, whew! i'm ALSO seeing someone! or well..." then remembers and is like oooof "well...i Was...seeing someone i guess. it's..."
my man is Depressed and is trying to change the subject because he realizes he actually can't talk about kyle because not only is cartman going to kill him if he does...he is also gonna freakin K!ll Himself because he's actually so sad that kyle currently hates his GUTS.
so he sighs, echoing her and admits "It's...Complicated." :/
he wants to hear something nice though, something real...and nice. because he is a romantico king. who believes more than anything...
in Love.
so he asks her what her girlfriend's name is. <3 :')
annnd i think she is About to say bebe's name...but realizes if she does, it will completely blow her cover.
like her ACTUAL Cover.
because stan knowing her first name and her what she looks like under the mask is one thing...but the second she says bebe's name, it's going to reveal that she is kyle's bebe's wen/wendyl which...is
Meeeeessy.
but she reasons ( as an intelligent, rational queen ) that regardless of how messy things get, her and stan are in this mess together and that the best time to make a mess...is when you are Coming Clean.
still...this is...very sensitive information. she’s not sure how he's gonna take it and needs some sort of collateral.
so she states her terms.
and call girl, who stan now knows is wendy, but not bebe's current girlfriend ( yet ) says "okay. i am going to tell you something, but in order to do it. i have to tell you...Everything. in exchange, i need YOU to tell me Everything. i am going to give you One Chance to do so willingly. if not...i do not care how untraceable you Think you are, i am very familiar with the dark web and i will find out everything i Need to know about you. and do with that information...What. I. Please.
...so /please./ promise me you won't tell anyone about what i am about to tell you...and then, tell me...stan...Something Real."
stan agrees and wendy goes into everything. comes out as trans to him and explains her origin story. ( i started to write everything in this ask but it got too long, i'll tell you all about call girl/wendy in another ask i have a couple in the box i can use, haha. ) she tells him pretty much everything ( it's a big therapy session in there ) up until this point, gaydhd ravenstan...manages to understand
Everything.
and when she finishes, true to the deal, she gently volleys the ball into his court, ( they are friends now, aw <3 ) and softly goes:
"okay...Your Turn."
and so ravenstan...who is Deeply Inspired by wendy...Wowza. he seriously thinks she is so fucking cool and ALSO A TRANS ICON??? HELLO? he feels v seen and heard and safe, so uh...jesus christ, he grabs wendy's hands, takes a veeeeeery deep breath and goes,
"so, i...
— Am DEAD."
LKHDSHSDLKDS HEEELP KSHLKDS
annnnnnd proceeds to tell her everything.
and i do mean...Everything.
they talk for the rest of the night basically, having this heart to heart, at the same time that, unbeknownst to ravenstan, jerseykyle and ike are also having a heart to heart....wendy and stan are platonic besties, they agree to keep each other's secrets as t4t legends stuck in cartman's fucked up marionette hell together, they agree to keep their crazy charade up while they try and find a way out/back to bebe and kyle, take some v convincing publicity pictures together ( i do think jk and bebe see them and want to die So Bad, it's not funny...bebe/jk or wendy/rs...choose your doomed broship. Fml. )
and that's...
Your Crazy Uncle Nina RM Lore Drop For The Night!
i hope you enjoyed it, haha. <3 please feel free to drop me a line in the ole ask box about it and ofc, as always, to ask me anything you would like! if you're still with me...after all this time. thank you so much for supporting me and enjoying my content.
it means...Everything to me.
and in writing something fake...
thank you all:
for being my Something Real. <3 c':
-uncle nina, callgirl/raven superfan
#rm spoilers#i am sorry this was so fucking nuts#idk why i decided to put aside like four hours to write this#but here we are help#i hope it was thrilling#ALSO IM SORRY POP PRINCESS ACTUALLY FUCKS SO HARD I DONT EVEN CARE THAT SONG SLAPS#also if rs dropped the punkrock version of it and held my hand ion stage i would end it all everyone was jealous#especially jerseykyle who was trying to be aloof#okay jerseykyle being silent...its so scary yall its actually frightening and YOU KNOW RS IS ACTING A DAMN FOOL#trying to get him to look at him its sooo...smh like he is acting the hell up like pick me choose me KHDLKSHLD#and surprisingly he is not choosing violence which is actually More violent and three thousand times scarier AAAA :(#BUT RAVENSTAN AND CALL GIRL I FUCKING LOVE THEM THEY ARE BEST FRIENDS I MEAN IT THEY ARE BESTIES#THEY ARE AN UNLIKELY ALLIANCE AGAINST CARTMAN AND IN GAY FUCKED UP CELEBRITY HELL TOGETHER#idk they are very sweet to me and both understand what the other one is going through they are platonic soul mates#they are rockstar popstar jersey and bebe tbh#its such a mess#sorry this is so poorly written i really did my best#and again at this point i am genuinely not sure who is still hanging in there for my weird content but if you want it#here you go baby#feel free to yell at me in the inbox if u would like#it thrills me very much#me at the top of my lungs at two am: pOP PRINCESS HOOOLD MY HAAAAND POP PRINCESS IM A FAAAAAN#POP PRINCESS I NEEED YOU NOW FREAK ME OUT TURN UPSIDE DOOOWOOOoOWOOWn skdhlkshdls#please someone tell me you see the vision i am so passionate about this i am sorry this is so real to me#jk and bebe rage bait making out is peak content#Happy Pride Month 🌈😩
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new child fragment emerged but this time we grounded and i think im getting a better picture of what seemingly minor things really traumatised me
#my posts#by seemingly minor of course i mean. the lifetime of being abandoned when in need and nobody ever showing me kindness#im just struggling to understand how i feel about it#boyfriend very rightly pointed out that its probably that im struggling to let myself be honest about how much it hurt me#and when he said that i wanted to cry and tell him everything about how i wish anybody had been kind and anybody had helped me#when i begged them for it. acted out for it. asked for it. just lay there#theres many such traumas#yesterday a specific repressed memory was trying to turn up but its definitely not an isolated event#in fact a few of my parts and several fragments are linked to assorted experiences being failed and ignored and abandoned#the consequence of a self sufficient kid i guess#a lot of my kids are bearing the burden of never being shown love or kindness and they all experience it in different ways#but the root cause is getting clearer. whoda thought it was the Entire Life#i just want to be picked up and held for once and not just left lying there unable to move#its ok. i pick myself up. and boyfriend will too when hes here#lets get muffins
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if you told me all those years ago that the people who made the song that got me through the worst time of my life would go on to do some of the craziest things in their career and you said they're gonna go perform at all these places and do all these things 😭 idk what baby me would've done but current me is literally so overwhelmed with emotions ... 😞🫶‼️💗 like that's just too crazy to me to really put into words but watching the skz journey feels so heart warming and exciting and im so incredibly fucking proud of them... 🥺🤍 my skz you are so amazing 😭🫶💗🌙🫂
#idk what i'm trying to say#but 17 year old me found you when my life was in ruin#and then 🤍🫂 you picked me up and put me on my feet... 😞💗‼️ and i... i am lucky to have you in my life ...#i wouldn't be the same without you...#no i mean.. i wouldn't even be here without you#😞 i know that for sure ... like without a doubt#that part of my life was ... bad 👍#sitting on that train after being assaulted the first time and feeling like it was over like i was going to kill myself and then#all i heard was chans voice saying 'blessings wait for you'#and 😞 it felt like the first hug id had in ages... like someone had held me and told me it would be ok 😞💗#idk ... kinda presumptive to say i owe them my life but... 🫂 i wouldn't be here without them#that much is for damn sure ...#so to see them come this far ... do so much#🥺 the pride in my heart is beyond overwhelming#being here since they were nugu losers 😭💗🫶 GOD I LOVE UUUU MY SKZ!!!!!#i don't know how much more i can say it........ i so incredibly love you 😞🤍💗#god i'm so proud#i hope chan knows 😭🫶💗🥺 with every fucking fibre in my being that i'm always ALWAYS cheering him on 😞 that he deserved this so infinitely#god i fucking love him 😭‼️ my darling boy.........#:( my skz fr...#li.txt
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man i spent most of last night crying in bed with a headache because tiktok decided to show me a bunch of videos of people sharing their stories with their pets and how much they loved them and how they still remember them and the one that hurt the most was actually the lady who adopted an old cat with stomach problems because thats pretty much like our experience with our yorkie that passed away and im still justl ike man. pets deserve the world.
#text post tag#woke up and my head still hurts but im not crying as much thinking about it#i remember when sammy was put down i was afraid that he didnt feel loved#but then i remembered he was a fat dog who would cry all the time until you picked him up and held him#and he Loved being carried around the house and he Loved going on trips with my parents#he had separation anxiety real bad but we loved him very much#i miss him a lot
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if they pull a sitch where either tim or lucy are waiting on the other at the restaurant they agreed to meet at thinking they've been stood up when in reality their bleeding out and hanging on by a thread i will seriously douse myself in gasoline and set myself on fire.
#*and this is icarly!#the rookie#the rookie s5#tim bradford#lucy chen#chenford#otp: you held your breath#oh the wip that is forming....#something just isn't sitting right with me still about chris#i think a switch has flipped and he's gonna have his 'if i can't have her then no one can!' moment and come back to attack lucy#and of course lucy being the sweetheart that she is would try to talk him down first#refusing to physically defend herself like that bc he's never showed signs of having this other side#plus she still loves him in a way and would never want to hurt him like how he's hurting her#..... with a knife#imagine tim picking up his phone right as he's about to call angela to see if she knows where lucy might be#only to be immediately silenced by her crying and sniffling over the phone#going ghostly pale as she explains the crime and the scene she's at at lucy's apartment#yes this is the kind of angst and hurt i will be manifesting#s5 wishlist
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I haven't watched this show a day in my life
#I have a vision for this show#Tommy invites Eddie with him to help him pick out a promise ring for Buck but Eddie acts super posturing a weird the entire time and Tommy#is eventually like “you wtf is up with you? I didn't know you had such string opinions on gold verse silver” and Eddie breaks and is like#“a promise ring?? I didn't know it was that serious between you two?”#“I held a funeral for a mummy for him of course its that serious. Why is that an issue are you in love with him or something?”#“Yeah actually”#“what”#and then the entire next episode is Tommy and Eddie doing elaborate wooing stunts to buck to try and win him over from the other#Buck is completely oblivious to eddies wooing because hes acting exactly the same#but now Buck is going around to the rest of the station like “Tommy is acting really weird” because Tommy doesnt do this kind of thing#but the station freaks because they think tommy is being an asshole agaib#also tommys actor is replaced with bobbys actor in a bad wig#to represent bucks daddy issues#911 abc#911 show#buddie#evan buckley#eddie diaz#destiel#destiel day
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i am once again overwhelmed by love for humans as a whole
#just. fuck#oh my god. oh my god. i love humans. i love humans and i love life and i love that i get to be a part of it#it sucks sometimes and there are awful terrible things that happen and im not going to deny any of that#but just. im thinking about all the strangers who've ever been kind to me and im overwhelmed with love#the girl ive never seen before who grabbed me to dance during my last homecoming with the biggest smile on her face#the kid who taught me where to dig for clay in a lake when i was 8 who told me he loved me when i said i had to leave#the stranger at the last show i went to who held onto my shoulder as we jumped and yelled and laughed together#the little girl who came into my workplace today that told me with the most starstruck face that she liked my hair#the older lady who helped me pick up all my things after i dropped them in a park after an incredibly hard day#the trio of teenage boys who played with me on the playground for hours one evening when i was 6 because they saw i was lonely#the random man who bought me the snack i tried to put it back when i realized i didn't have enough money for it#the teen girls who chased off some guy who tried to kick my head in and then ran back to hold my hands and make sure i was okay#fuck. i love people. i love human beings so much.#i love being alive and im so so glad i made it past middle school even though i thought i wouldn't#i get to look at sunsets and sunrises and i get to pet dogs and i get to wade around in lakes and pools and ponds#i get to hug and hold people and i get to laugh so hard my stomach hurts and i get to yell and scream in happiness#i get to eat good food and listen to good music and i get to run and jump and dance#i get to see beautiful things and i get to watch strangers live their lives around me and i get to be a part of it all#it's amazing!!! fuck!!!! i get to be a part of it all!!!!!#i love being alive and i love that ive made it this far#i don't know what the future holds but im just so glad im even here at all#sorry about the long sappy ramble and i know this probably looks weird but i could not care less#im just overwhelmed with love for everything
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this cat is like toddler and shes getting too big for it to be sustainable
#also her and her brother r SO siblings#hes a lap cat and will incessantly try and get on my mothers lap and she#runs to the door when i come downstairs and demand to be picked up#she will also lay on my mother but less. and she gets up on the chest/shoulder area#they may be adopted soon waaaahhhhh theyre my new fave fosters so sorry millie/miles#💌#cat#she also likes to stretch like that and she loves to roll around#she doesnt mind being baby held and also doesnt mind her tummy pet/scratched at all which is insane#anyway shes heavy for one arm holds
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Bonus: explain who your cats are and how you got them in the tags
#Oldest is Ambrosius! Hes a domestic shorthair tuxedo and hes kinda petite honestly. looks one step away from looking like the shyest cat-#youve ever seen. hates being picked up but is a graceful sweetheart- loves being pet on his own terms#He was born a stray kitten and my grandma's daughter's neighbor took him in but couldnt keep him#i was moving into my own apartment at the time and i fell in love with him instantly. he loved being jeld as a kitten though-#at some point that just changed and im worried my roommates did something or I did by accident#i live with my grandma again now tho and hes an indoor/outdoor cat (not by our choice- we'd rather he stay inside but he is a slippery-#motherfucker). He turns 2 in like a month!#Youngest is Little Man! Hes a domestic longhair and is also black and white#mosyly white for him tho#i got him from a friend in college and brought him home to my grandma's as a surprise#he is a HUGE cat and a big attention hog. loves being picked up and held like a baby (unless he doesnt feel like it- in which case he Will-#make that your problem) Hes super soft and fluffy and vocal#but also simultaneously so so smart and so so stupid. very mischievous- will ALWAYS knock uour drink over if left unattended#he WILL play fetch with straw and hair ties too- (and will steal both from you if you're unsuccessful in saving them from him)
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Yesterday Toni spent almost 24 hours in our room which she doesn't do very often
Both Timmy and Grayson enjoyed a few hours of uninterrupted naps but then they both walked around meowing and looking in all her spots before realizing she was here
#we had a good play session yesterday morning#and she was very content to just lay in the sun and nap#Grayson and Timmy are still feral boys at heart so they have some weird rules for indoor cats#so do Gigi and Lillie#okay so the one we raised as an indoor cat from a baby is the only one with no weird outdoor cat traits#they all remember when they had to look for food and be careful of where they slept#Grayson and Timmy do not like to sleep around Mackie#so they saw Toni was in here and happy and left#Gigi forbids being picked up but loves to flop in my arms#and Lillie was very cautious around Mackie until she realized he didn't eat toni and if he didn't eat a kitten then he wouldn't eat her#now she does not care what he does#she only allows us to pick her up to bring her to food#what if she needs to run and shes being held? no thanks#personal#so i have cats and a dog#Toni#Grayson#Timmy
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